Finding your voice

I just finished the most recent publication of Rebecca Connelly’s, a new favorite author who I seem to consume her books faster than she can publish them, called Spinster and Spice. This third enstallment of the Spinster Chronicles centers around “sweet little Izzy”, the one whom everyone takes advantage of because she never causes a fuss. She learns how to find her voice in this novel, and I am reminded to find my own voice as well. I tend to respond like Izzy, be more passive and peacemaker, than bold and opinionated. There is a balance between the two, and I think it’s something we all need to find.

 My recommendation is to go out and read a Spinster and Spice!
 (Maybe read the first two first, because that just makes sense!)

Familiar Connections: Gaining Confidence through Weakness

Have you ever read a book and found some connection with the settings, person, or feeling? Does that connection help you better engage with the book? I always find that I pay attention more when that phenomenon happens to me. But when multiple happen in the same book, I start to wonder, “God, what you are telling me?” In the case of my current book, To Honor and Trust by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller, the male character’s career hits close to home for me, one of the locations is in my home state, and I can relate to the female character’s desire for truth and trustworthiness in others due to a past heartache. My ears are alert, “What lesson should I learn from this book, God?”

The male lead, Wesley, is a 25 year old doctor, and my own brother (not named Wesley as that would be too coincidental) is 26 and currently in his second year in medical school. While Wesley is fictional, I feel that I understand some of his background just through my knowledge of what my own brother has experienced. For example, Wesley comes across as very knowledgeable in areas not only related to medicine. I might not think much of that as he is fictional, but over the last 17 months my own brother comes home on breaks more knowledgeable than the last time I saw him. I talked to him about this over Christmas Break and he told me that medical school is hard (duh, I already knew that) but that he had had to develop a sense of confidence and self-awareness about what he knows and how he knows it. I had always seen my brother as a confident person, even before medical school; but since going, he has become even more so. I didn’t realize that under that layer of self-confidence actually laid a layer of uncertainty. He had to develop this “thicker skin” so to speak in order to study and perform his duties.

 Amazing, I had never thought about confidence in such a way. That a person might first have to become aware of their failings and weakness before they could become strong. The Bible confirms this in Paul’s writing in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,  “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christʼs power may rest on me. That is why, for Christʼs sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’” (https://www.bible.com/111/2co.12.10.niv) Growing up, I just assumed this was in reference to physical strength or in areas of faith; but now that I am older, and facing other challenges in life, I can see that in ANY situation, before we can become confident we need must first be weak. It is through this weakness, this trial, that we learn to become better, stronger, CONFIDENT.

Modern Mrs. Darcy Challenge 2019

I’ve been silent for a while, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped reading. On the contrary, I’ve read more books in the past two years, and I am now finally digging my way out of all my series and novels that I had laying on my shelves.

One of my New Years resolutions was to join a book group that uses a checklist called the Modern Mrs. Darcy Challenge to expand their reading library. Each criteria is a book to read for each of the 12 months this year. It’s  only the end of January, but I’m able to check off 2 categories (totally 4 books). I am having a blast with this challenge. If you love books as well, I hope you’ll join me!

Before Grace there was Pain

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind but now I see. 

One of my favorite old hymns is that of Amazing Grace. I remember singing it at youth group, Sunday morning services, and camp meetings; but my most vivid memory is at a high school youth retreat in a cabin in the woods, with hard wooden benches, hands held high, tears streaming down my face, belting it to the rafters. It has been re-made several times over the past two hundred and fifty years. The experience people feel may change, but the words and meaning never do. But do you know the story of how John Newton came to writing those wonderful words of grace and forgiveness? 

I just finished Jody Hedlund's newest novel, Newton & Polly: A Novel of Amazing Grace, and let me tell you, it was inspiring and gave me a new perspective of the words Newton wrote in his famous hymn. The line, "through many dangers, toils, and snares/ I have already come" is somewhat of and understatement. Newton had been rescued from dangers more a dozen times, but his world-view was so polluted towards God, that he did not see the bigger picture. He was pleasing his lustful, human nature in hopes of finding peace; instead, he found the opposite, despair. It took falling to the bottom before he reconciled his faith in God. 

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear.
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

It was hard to believe that a man as sinful and self-serving as John Newton could become one of the most famous hymn writers in history. His story is very much like that of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15 - a man leaving his family to fulfill what he thought would satisfy his search for purpose. It was a wonderful reminder that we are all God's children, and he has a bigger purpose for all of us, if only we seek him. The words from the second verse of Amazing Grace brings tingles to my neck as I remember the trials Hedlund writes about, and yet he could still write that after everything he feared, he could still believe in God and the amazing grace of forgiveness.

Pick up Jody Hedlund's novel, Newton & Polly: A Novel of Amazing Grace, today and travel on a journey of love, pain, loss, and peace. 

Snowy Day Blessings

Here in the Midwest, there is about a foot of snow on the ground, frosted with a thin layer of fresh ice from this morning's drizzle. You could ice skate on the sidewalks. I'm thankful that I can be cuddled up in my warm house, surrounded by my family, and a good book.

I love reading; especially books from the turn of the century. On days like this, it makes me wonder what families did in the late 1800s when "electricity" was considered a potbellied stove - which meant that someone had to spend hours chopping and cutting firewood prior to the cold weather. Even in today's modern world, there are some who cannot afford living in a warm environment. It is when I think of those less fortunate that I truly consider my blessings bountiful.

Nightmares don't Predict our Futures

Last night I had a most unusual nightmare that included fictious characters like werewolves, witches, and haunted houses. But when I awoke, I knew those dreams were not true. However, there have been times when the nightmares are more realistic, and sometimes, they don't always happen when I'm asleep.

In Karen Witemeyer's book Full Steam Ahead, Darius Thorton has one nightmare of an event that haunts him for years. When traumatic events happen, sometimes we take that as a sign of our future. We think that because of "this" or "that" effects our futures and we become consumed with outrunning our haunted pasts by remaining isolated, bound by what we believe is holding us back. 

Break free from the nightmares. They do not define you and don't let them claim your futures!

Not in my Wheelhouse!

We've all used the phrase, "That's out of my comfort zone", but how many of you have heard the original phrase - "That's not in my wheelhouse!" I never thought about what a "wheelhouse" was before, but figured that it was some form of a shelter.

Two weeks ago, I finished reading A Captain for Laura Rose by Stephanie Grace Whitson. I had another post already written, but then this morning, the phrase "not in my wheelhouse" hit me! A wheelhouse is the uppermost part of a steamboat, and a quick Google search verified that wheelhouses are protective shelters with huge windows on at least 3 sides to provide access to surveillance. In Laura Rose, Laura felt the safest and most like herself when she was piloting the Laura Rose - when she was "in her wheelhouse." So a wheelhouse is where we feel the most comfortable; it may be an actual location, a state of mind, the people we are around, whatever makes you happy.

However, we cannot remain in our "wheelhouses" forever. There are times when we need to leave. We need to experience new situations, uncomfortable as they may be. It is from these moments when we grow out of our comfort zone, our wheelhouses grow a little too.

If we remain in our wheelhouses too long, we can be exposed to the elements around us. Imagine, the wheelhouse is in the uppermost part of the ship, surrounded by glass windows. It provides shelter, but it can also be the most exposing spot on the entire steamboat. Within the confines of the wheelhouse, the captain is always on guard, scanning, guiding, directing. It must be exhausting work!

So a wheelhouse can be both a shelter and agent for stress. When the comfort becomes too suffocating, it is time to leave. But wheelhouses need captains - thus, it is not a lonely venture. Bring along those support and care for you. Then, your wheelhouse will become a place of comfort and rest.